Donald Sterling for Governor

Biking home this evening, I was thinking about the Clippers. Mind you, I don't often think about the Clippers on my ride home (though if you're not reading Clipperblog, you should), but I'd skimmed some particularly absurd shenanigans before I left and they were fresh in my mind.

To wit: The Clippers picked up Hassan Adams and some cash today from the Toronto Raptors in exchange for a conditional second-round pick. About two hours later, they waived him (via True Hoop). Kevin Arnovitz quippted, "Bulimia, NBA Style". The Clippers decided to sign a wing player (letting the Raptors avoid the luxury tax) and pick up some cash; waiving said player before this weekend means his contract is no longer guaranteed. To put it again: The Clippers waived a player that might have been able to contribute, suggesting that the real motive for the whole deal was just a little pile of cash.

Donald Sterling is one mean dude.

But I was thinking: What if the man ran for Governor of California? Imagine how he might bridge our yawning abyss of a budget:
The Donald: Hello? Is this the governor of Nevada?
Jim Gibbons: Why yes, yes it is.
The Donald: Jim. Let's cut to the chase: You've got a slew of people in state prison that I know are just dragging your budget down. How about we take them off of your hands? All we need is a little cash off the top to make everything balance out.
Gibbons: [Thinks a moment, imagines giving every citizen of Nevada a no-more-prison rebate check. Decides he likes the sound of it] Deal.
The Donald: [Hangs up the phone, calls State Bureau of Corrections]
BoC: Hello?
The Donald: We're getting some more inmates.
BoC: But our prisons are already overcrowded! We can't even guarantee basic medical care to the ones we have! How are we going to take on more?
The Donald: Do I sound like I care? The faster they keel over, the more space we have. Problem solved! [Hangs up the phone, talks to himself] That's why I'm the Donald. I make money when most people only see gaping holes in the lineup. It's what I do.
The Donald for Governator 2010. If he can't turn a profit from California, nobody can.


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